The Independent Broker who Saved Christmas

As we all know, 2010 has brought many changes to the insurance industry, with undoubtedly the most notable being New York State’s Regulation 194. However, with the Christmas, Hanukah, and New Year’s season behind us, we may use this time to reflect upon some of the good that has arisen from our business.

As I have said in this column time and time again, there is so much that happens in our everyday lives that remind me of “this thing of ours”, with our Holiday Season being no different. For instance, we are all extremely aware of the fact that we live in a litigious society, and quite frankly if we did not there would be no need for the products and services that we provide. With that said, be it known to mankind that no man, or commercial enterprise, is exempt from the need to protect oneself and their property and/or loved ones from thy neighbor…or from the wrath of a lawsuit that may arise from us not treating thy neighbor as thyself. Santa Claus, the elves of his employ, along with his entire non-profit operation, is of course no exception to this common phenomenon.

Although our business uses many different methods of distinguishing one person, or business, from another (many of these methods would be considered discriminatory in other facets of life), we as humanitarians tend to think that there are certain people that should not be subjected to the regulations that most of us must adhere to, due to the nature of what it is that they do. Santa used to be one of these people. However, the insurance industry (and most likely very soon so will the IRS), has finally caught on to this “company” and has decided that his “one night stand” may be too much of a risk that it cannot endure financially. So what does an insurance carrier do when it sees a potential claim? It excludes the coverage, which is exactly what it did to good ole Saint Nick…and almost cancelled Christmas this year. Well, our insurance community being what it is would not let that happen. This is the story of how the independent insurance broker saved Christmas, very, very late this past Christmas Eve…

T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the land.

Few coverage advisors were still in demand.

The policies still showed on both desk and on screen,

My eyes only open with thanks to caffeine.

Most company’s adjusters had left for the day.

And most coverage lawyers had little to say.

It was surely the moment to turn out the light,

Shut down the computer, put work out of sight.

Then the phone started chirping, it startled my poise,

Not the typical ring-tone, but an odd sounding noise.

It jingled like sleigh bells, instead of a “ding,”

I knew I must answer, despite everything.

A Christmas Eve caller? What could be the need?

But the sound of the music, would just not recede.

I was really not looking for Christmas Eve banter,

Imagine my shock when the caller was Santa!

“I need some advice, sir” said a somber Saint Nick,

“My Christmas Eve Policy is three inches thick.”

I don’t mean to bother, but I’m wrought with confusion

“I don’t understand this new ‘Gifting Exclusion.’”

“It carves out the nasties, the mean and the haughty.

It favors the good ones and leaves out the naughty.

My coverage appears to have holes like Swiss Cheese,

I’m afraid if I’m sued, I will twist in the breeze.”

“A products exclusion? A chimney one too?

Elf employment exception, I’m screwed through and through.

Just what is still covered? I sure am confounded,

With all of these issues, I fear that I’m grounded.”

“With a sleigh full of sacks and reindeer at the ready,

I’m starting to feel just a tad too unsteady.

My belly has acid, my knees are a ‘quiver

With millions and millions of toys to deliver.”

“I want you to help me, I fear a disclaimer.

This policy’s scary; I need you to tame her.

We must surely save Christmas, for good girls and boys,

And Amazon won’t refund “squat” on the toys.

The holiday challenged, I sure knew my mission

We needed to craft a new ISO edition

Santa needed an ally, a comrade, a fighter,

On the opposite side was a Grinch Underwriter.

I am sure you’d imagine how hard it would be

To secure for Saint Nick a late night policy,

Without coverage gaps, so that Santa could fly,

To save Christmas Day, we were destined to try.

The person in charge of the coverage for Nick,

Had left the shop early, was feeling quite sick.

Perhaps it was sadness, or guilt or just gumption,

He thought he’d killed Christmas, a well-placed assumption.

In order to soften his hardening heart,

We had to play coy, we had to be smart.

We needed to dazzle that Grinch with our guile,

To show him the risk was sure worth his while.

Worse yet, betwixt and between stood a broker,

A bloodsucker culled from the mind of Bram Stoker.

Through him we must go, around or about,

He’d bring pressure to bear, he’s really got clout.

“It’s Santa,” we’d say, “who’d sue him for cash?”

“Another broker can get us a better deal in a flash.

We’ll go to the market if a deal can’t be made;”

The Grinch saw his bonus beginning to fade.

From the cream of the crop, a new team we’d assemble,

To get Santa protection, to weaken his tremble

We’d send out the e-mail, we’d tweet and we’d twitter

We needed to find the best of the litter.

The other apt choice, as the time slipped on by,

Was to use those fine people, to make him comply.

By plane and by car, by boat and by train.

We beckoned this family to join in refrain.

And gather they did, first a few then a score,

Lawyers and brokers, claims folks and more

More than a choir, it was surely a throng,

Together they gave voice to a beautiful song.

And they reached that man’s spirit, his heart and his soul,

And in no time at all, they’d accomplished their goal.

“Give me my pen”, the Grinch yelled to his clerk.

I knew then and there that our ploy it had worked.

“Exclusions be gone! Limitations not there!

We’ll provide him his coverage, no need to beware.”

And so it was written, and Santa could jet,

And Christmas was saved, the best Yuletide yet.

One cold winter night, when you’re hearing his jingle,

When the children are sleeping and in comes Kris Kringle,

Remember that coverage protected his flight,

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

I’m not exactly sure who the independent insurance agent was that penned this poem, as the letter anonymously appeared in my email stocking when I awoke. But handwritten at the bottom, it asked me to say:

”Thanks to all brokers, for saving Christmas Day!”